Sunday, February 11, 2007

My Big Fat Iranian Sex

Through the years, the older men of my family have bequeathed me the following three pearls of wisdom:

#1 "Up to four times a week is good, but more than four times is no good."*
- Baba, 72

#2 "In college, don't have too many orgy parties, do your homework."**
- "Crazy" Uncle Javid

#3 "If you have to use a condom then what is the point?"
- My brother aka "Persian Jay-Z" ("the whole enjoyment is the heat!")

And from Esphawnee's dad:

"Avoid blow jobs, because the heat of the mouth makes your hair fall out."

Did I mention Esphawnee's dad is completely bald?

* "Haftehyee seh bar, chahar bar, heech eyb nadaareh...vallee toh deegeh zeeyaadeet daareh meesheh!"

** "Orgy-morgy oonjah khabaree hast?...Meeree daaneshgah zeeyadee orgy party nakon, besheen darsetah bekhoon!"