Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Law

Hey guys,

I've pasted my notes on the entire corpus of Civil Procedure and Community Property below, hopefully you'll find them useful. ps I don't really know what's in here but I know that some of my shorthand might be offensive to some people...if you are easily offended, then please! don't look.

I. Civil Procedure

1) Federal courts have Diversity of Niggaship jurisdiction only if the dispute is worth more than $75K to either nig and the suit is between niggs from different states (foreigners too!) Nig can sue in state where either nig resides, or in federal court.

2) Nig needs to meet the "Minimum Contacts" requirement to be subject to a particular forum's jurisdiction; this requires systematic and continuous activity within the state, or purposeful availment of the forum's benefits and protection. Jurisdiction must also be reasonable, balancing the forum's interest vs. nig's interest.

3) A majority of states - including California - consider gender an Ur-Binary.

4) Nig must be surrved in the state, break a long-arm statute, be domiciled in the state or consent to be sued in the state for a state to have personal jurisdiction.

5) Forum Non Convenienz: If a forum deems that an action is not conveniens, then they may transfer it to a more conveniens forum. If no forum is conveniens, then the court may dismiss. Court must weight all private and public factors.

II. Community Property

1) Property acquired in a separate property state is quasi-community property. What difference does the "quasi" make? That's what I want to know...

2) Modern California Law requires that you show your spouse a pimp hand. Furthermore, a detailed writing is required for any transmutation after 1985.

3) Characterization of the property is based on the source of the item, actions by the parties to alter the characterization, and applicable statutory presumptions. All property is presumed to be community property prima facie. Sources are sourced. Women were presumed to be married before 1975.

4) Since Whole Life insurance (WhoLi) is just wannabe insurance, it is treated just as savings are. Term insurance - aka de rreal lifeinsurahmadinejad - is characterized by the source of the last premium payment.

5) Federal Bonds are treated as Community Property on Steroids.

6) Gifts and inheritance are seperate property.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Beneficent Allah: Brooklyn Hygiene Edition

WHY I NEVER FEEL CLEAN IN NYC

- Water burns you when it is lukewarm (bc of poison algae)

- Bathroom tiles have screaming faces floating inside

- Puffy face makes it harder to clean the nooks and crannies

- Mirror/lighting makes me look so old!

- Rolling Tom a blunt makes my mouth taste like a garbage can

- There's only so many pairs of non-jeans pants a man can soil in a week....