Sunday, February 11, 2007

My Big Fat Iranian Sex

Through the years, the older men of my family have bequeathed me the following three pearls of wisdom:

#1 "Up to four times a week is good, but more than four times is no good."*
- Baba, 72

#2 "In college, don't have too many orgy parties, do your homework."**
- "Crazy" Uncle Javid

#3 "If you have to use a condom then what is the point?"
- My brother aka "Persian Jay-Z" ("the whole enjoyment is the heat!")

And from Esphawnee's dad:

"Avoid blow jobs, because the heat of the mouth makes your hair fall out."

Did I mention Esphawnee's dad is completely bald?

* "Haftehyee seh bar, chahar bar, heech eyb nadaareh...vallee toh deegeh zeeyaadeet daareh meesheh!"

** "Orgy-morgy oonjah khabaree hast?...Meeree daaneshgah zeeyadee orgy party nakon, besheen darsetah bekhoon!"


At 6:09 AM, Blogger the actual rod said...

thank you for inserting the originals, translations really don't do them justice...

At 10:05 AM, Blogger Rich said...

i strongly concur

At 3:22 PM, Blogger Mulatto Jesus said...

Beneficent Allah is my new favorite Blog. All great advice that I will heed.

At 9:54 PM, Anonymous John Donne said...

Thy sinnes and haires may no man equall call,
For, as thy sinnes increase, thy haires doe fall.


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