Thursday, November 24, 2011

Rap Genius HQ

BEST PARTS ABOUT LIVING AT 184 KENT DEATH STAR VORTEX

- The viewwww!!!

- Heating system designed to make you feel no heat/cold

- Doorman Garfield Rock pedals the elliptical for me in the gym

- Kitchen furnished with predigested proteins and granite countertops

- Bathrooms feature a penis desensitizer

- 12 foot ceilings

- Daily building colonic available at 9

- Walk-in closet is PERFECT SIZE for the specter of ancestral memory

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

scheming dough with the PLO

All I hear on the streets these days is "why did you turn your blog into an SEO hustle, Beneficent Allah?"

I'll tell you why. Do you know how fucking dope it is to be DJing all day for a bunch of black teenagers on facebook? Every "like" gives me a ginsengesque rush in youthful sensuality, sexual virility, and general fervor for life.

And plus: Google fucks with me? I fucks with Google.... cause I ain't seen a dime off this Beneficent Allah AdSense that's for damn sure..

I remember getting high and sitting on the toilet all through law school, getting really emotional about a 2Pac song..... "I need to write a post about this!"

Then I would come to my damn senses and write something about my childhood, a name-droppy recount of my sexploits, or a slightly-doctored Actual God post.

Plus ├ža change.... thank you to the affiliated blogs in my blog fam, btw, for linking up the Beneficent Allah and juicing me up with juice, in turn, to juice unto Rap Genius - Mushallah!