Friday, September 24, 2010

You down with DDT?

A lady at the Hoaf today was like "soft-skinned fruits have to be organic, because the pesticides - they kill fungus! - and they seep in! Your food is killing living things!"

Kills fungus, eh? Where can I buy this "pesticide" you speak of? Do they sell it in the bulk bins? Can I sprinkle it on my bran flakes?

Friday, September 10, 2010

Lobsters & Coconuts (AND cocaine!!)

Shared some basil with Matt aka "Lobsters & Cocaine" tonight.. he's moved into my old room chez Luther in order to feel guilted into losing weight. (It's working!)

Remember Luther was a Marine..

After dinner, we passed a gelateria:

Matt: You never just.. want a sundae??

No, Matt, because ice cream is not food..

When I'm feeling naughty, what I DO want to eat is:

- $25 of tomatoes

- 5 pounds of carrots

- All the loquats from a giant tree for the whole year.. at once

- A Gallon of my own urine

- A Bathtub of kelp noodles

- A life-sized salmon sashimi sculpture shaped like a thin, sexy girl

- 40 mg of Adderall

- "Young Coconut Snowman"

Anything that's food! Not ice cream..